For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. –Psalm 139:13-16
While driving to the first ultrasound appointment to measure the twins’ anatomy I distinctly heard the Spirit say, “This appointment will test your faith.” After weighing His words, my mind went to a picture of a little kid in a wheelchair with Down syndrome. I brushed off the image thinking, “Surely not that. This is just my imagination running away with me.”
After the ultrasound, the doctor came in to talk to us about the progress of their growth. She showed us a picture of Micah and identified a black spot on his brain and defined it as an issue of chromosomes. She also said that his femur bones were too short another indicator that increased the concern significantly. She wanted to test for Down syndrome. The words of the Spirit echoed in my mind as did the picture I had seen. The impact hit and my heart broke.
My husband and I decided we would seek God’s healing over the next four weeks, until the next ultrasound report and then go from there. After the doctor left my husband looked at me and said, “Well we do not receive that report for our son.” Though tears were already filling my eyes, I nodded in agreement.
While I knew this was a test of my faith, my mind was caught in a raging battle of faith verses fear. Overwhelmed, I did not know which strategy to use for fighting this battle. Regardless, to stand firm I knew I would need more faith and until I grew in it, God would have to extend it to me by grace. I knew the victory had already been won, but how would I go about enforcing it here on earth as it is in heaven? The only thing I could do was pray asking God for a strategy and an increase in faith.
Immediately the Spirit flooded my mind with scriptures about healing and faith – the keys to enforcing this victory. I wrote them on index cards and took them everywhere with me. I verbally declared them over the boys’ development and my faith every morning. Each time my mind faltered I diverted to the verses and refused to entertain any thoughts contrary. A week had gone by and I felt like I was barely surviving one thought at a time. Denying access to fear and doubt was a constant battle that was enveloping my every strength.
One night I confided in my husband my struggle. He told me that he was also praying and speaking life over their development (Ps 139:13-16). But he did not fear because knew God is bigger than doctors’ reports. His faith not only bolstered mine, but the moment I confessed to him my struggle, I felt a release from something oppressive. I was no longer isolated, no longer sinking in a battle with fear and doubt.
The next week fear had almost no place in my mind. Every time a fearful thought came I battled it with the scriptures given me. I watched the Lord transform my mind and my faith with his word. Fear lost its grip and soon after I watched the enemy lose his grip on my son as well.
Toward the end of week two, I sat there speaking the word of God over Micah and Gabriel’s development as I had done every morning. Half way through the scriptures I began weeping. God was doing something. And I was determined to finish speaking out those scriptures – the keys to Micah’s healing.
The moment I finished the last verse, I saw a picture of balls of fire with lightning speed flying from heaven. In accordance with Col 2:13-15 they targeted and destroyed the ultrasound pictures which were evidence against Micah, and stood opposed to him. Through the blood of Jesus and the word of his testimony (scriptures) healing had been enforced and the disease defeated. I called my husband at work and told him the good news.
Up until that point I had yet to feel any movement from the twins at all, neither internally or externally. But that night, I felt movement for the first time.
Two more weeks passed before the next ultrasound. Continuing to stand in a position of victory, we waited for the verdict to come in. The next appointment came, and we were informed that both babies were growing beautifully and were in perfect health. The spot on Micah’s brain had completely disappeared and his femur bones were in perfect unity with the rest of his body. The doctor assured us that the issues seen in the first ultrasound were of no more concern. Femur lengths were proportional and the black spot on the brain completely gone.
Disease and evidence destroyed. Written codes and regulations nailed to the cross. Nothing is impossible with God. God is good and he is always faithful and true. His word never goes forth and returns void – it always brings about change. There is nothing he cannot heal, redeem or restore. Only God can take a threatening report from a doctor and use it to stretch faith, strengthen a marriage, defeat the enemy’s schemes and pour out his healing power all at the same time.
At the beginning of this trial, I had a picture of myself in a battle feebly standing between the enemy and my sons armed with only a sword that I was not even sure how to use. Even as despair warred for my heart I heard the Spirit say, “I will be the power behind your sword and I will give you moment to moment instructions on when and how to wield it. Now you are a beginner, but I will teach you to be a ninja.” Romans 8. Thank God that he does not leave us to our own devices, and that by walking in the Spirit we are more than conquerors.
Side note: I cannot thank my husband enough for his godly leadership and stability through this trial. He had his own battle to fight as the headship and covering of this family and I do not minimize the fight he fought on our behalf.